Ardle Blog Comments

by: Ergo Spacepig

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:23:08 +0100

Jesus couldn’t drum. Nuff said.

by: jesus

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:48:28 +0100

How can you be sure those guitars aren’t all cheap chinese counterfeits? They look pretty shoddy to me. Hey, I have an idea, why not change “the Personal Pages of Andy Lightfoot” to: The Personal Problems of Andy Schtinkfoot?” Now, that will really get you where you need to be going in your endless quest of Self Promotion.

by: The Central Scrutinizer

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:18:17 +0100

Why, thank you, good sir!

by: Phil

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:12:23 +0100

Most excellently presented in context use of bold text in a blog post I’ve seen this year. Bravo.

by: The Central Scrutinizer

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:37:43 +0100

But do I know what you mean, that is the real nub of the gist of the matter here…

by: Herr Splitting-Krach

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:46:07 +0100

Yeah, I know what you mean about frequency responses and impedance, ’specially after the third coffee.

by: beneatonarse

Tue, 13 May 2008 11:59:40 +0100

Would you stop mickeying around with that Apple software to give the impression that you’re a lefty bassist? C’mon, that is downright cheezy. Now, onto more meatier topics:
Don’t you just pity the fine looking Japanese porn mistress who has an exquisite body, not a blemish on it. And a fine pair of meat tulips below that are just heavenly shaped for to be nibbling after? And don’t you just pity these cumrobot flowerpots because for the tasty naughty porn shoots they have to pair with the saddest looking fucks this side of Norway. I mean, dude, get some decent looking fishing tackle. It’s amazing. Doughy pot bellied salarycluster fucks throwing down on that fine tuned musty quim, a veritable festival of sardine umbrellas, and all they can bring to the gig is this sad mishapen purple swollen mushroom headed stubby cock! It is a sad sad sad state of affairs. If I didn’t enjoy teaching English conversation so much, I might try my hand as a stallion on some of those porn sets. I’d make em’ bark. I’d make em’ squeal just like Jimmy (!) who according to his own account shagged forty five Japanese women on the bonnet of his Ferrari one night outside of Yeast Kulcha! Don’t believe him? Well…..the Ferrari is is is at his uncle’s house in in in in Hokaido! He drives it down here on weekends for Jimmy to use. That’s why you never see it! So, there…

by: The Central Scrutinizer

Thu, 08 May 2008 11:29:00 +0100

Nurse! Nurse! Up the dosage, please!

by: yourfriendJesus

Thu, 08 May 2008 11:14:23 +0100

You need to drill a hole in it. Make the hole big enough to get yer pennis in there. Smooth the wood around the periphery of the new hole, so you don’t get any splinters in the foreskin of your ya-ya. Next, you need to take that guitar down to Parco’s scuzzy play lot. Skip teaching to do this one afternoon. Pre pay a dwarf and an Hiroshima City worker to undress, at the plaza, and to begin copulating. As they [naughty word brushed out by The Central Scrutinizer], male/female male/male/ female/female Jimmy/Timmy whatever…step up to the artificial green grass turf below, said dwarf and government city worker, and begin to play some of those “Shab shabba shabba doo wa/Shab Shabba shabba dooo WAAAAAA!” jazz chords in rhythm to the [ripped out by The Central Scrutinizer] before you. As for the hole? How the [crudity taken out by The Central Scrutinizer] do I know what to do with a hole that big? You don’t have to actually put a real erect pennis through it. You can utilize a pink rubber facsimile with a certain ECC oba-chan’s anal residue rubbed on it for the extra rough solo action on that guitar, and on that green grass mat. When the copulating and your solo is over, approach the green grass mat with heavy smelly marker, and on that mat, MAKE THE LINE! Tell the audience, “I MAKE THE LINE!” Shout also, “Whoah Baby Baby, I cream your danish, you make my line. I end the nightmare of New Castle on Tyne. You bring the quimmy, and I’ll bring the jerk, You take out the candles and we get to work, yeah yeah yeah baby baby!” Finish the gig by disowning the dwarf. Tell the pigs you had nothing to do with her. That your thing’s botany, stunning suits from Aoyama, and noodily jazz. (maybe even kick that dwarf, and holler, “I disown you, you little [naughty parts chopped off by The Central Scrutinizer]! Get IT! It’s over between you and me, you loveless little ferret [erased by The Central Scrutinizer]!” Lastly, put out an old barbeque tin from Iwakuni that at least twenty marines have [unseemliness make good The Central Scrutinizer] in. Collect busker fees in 100 yen coins with this can. When it’s full of coins and spunk, take the whole crowd assembled over to Mr. Donuts ([Anglo-Saxon epithet scrubbed off by The Central Scrutinizer] Starfux, man) And go up to the pixies at the counter with like twenty hungry fans behind you, and shout, “I got twenty hungry people here! What are you willing to do about that little missy?!” And then dump spunky coins all over glass counter and demand/implore the staff to treat you and your possie to a mean mountain of OLDO FASHIONEDO ringjob twisty donuts with caramelly underbits and sweet surprises. Yup, that’s what I would do with a spiffy guitar like that.

by: The Central Scrutinizer

Tue, 06 May 2008 13:08:53 +0100

I totally sympathize with you - I don’t think I’ve ever won a game against David - or anybody else for that matter! (Shh…don’t tell anyone, though..